Spirituality Part 6 - Bishop Roger
Many of the so-called teachers of spirituality are really seeking self aggrandizing control. Now, one can to some extent control food appetite, and that can be helpful, but eventually one must eat or die. Even more obviously, although breathing can come under control ( often spiritually helpful, sometimes dangerous) one must breathe after very short abstinence!
But the one really strong function in all adult humans which can be totally controlled without killing the subject is the sex drive, and so in almost all religions there has been a strong belief that abstinence from sexual activity is helpful in developing a spiritual life.
All sorts of arguments have been put forward to support this idea, which, incidentally gives enormous power to the suggestor, because for most people complete sexual abstinence is very difficult. Not only difficult, but dangerous.
We have seen this in the many recent revelations of damaging behaviour in the Roman Catholic priesthood, the members of which are obliged to be totally celibate. Because the sexual drive is so strong it cannot be suppressed without some danger, and tends to break free, sometimes resulting in bodily or spiritual harm not only to ones self but to others as well.
Those religions which do not require abstinence sometimes demand sexual activity be under certain rules ( e.g. Judaism, Islam and Mormonism) which is still attempting to control the instinct. Judaism in particular demands that men shall marry and have an active sexual life, so that sometimes a person may not be taught in a spiritual school (such as Kabala) if he has no children.
Now we are sexual beings and Christians, taking note from Genesis, are advised to ‘increase and multiply’ which may be seen as conflicting with some of the Church’s teachings. So how does this affect spirituality? We are given the example of St Anthony who despite a life of austerity and deep spirituality in the Egyptian desert was still beset by sexual fantasies for much of his life, and again Jesus’ comments on the thoughts of lust (Matt 5; 28 which may or may not be correctly reported), and although these thoughts are usually reported as occurring in males, they also occur in females, though perhaps with less vehemence.
Again, we are seeing in the West at this time the problems brought by the ecclesiastic desire to coerce a certain style of sexual activity and to anathematise others. We now know from modern genetic and psychological studies that there is a very wide field of sexuality in humans from the virtually asexual, through the homosexual and heterosexual to an almost unquenchable activity in several directions, and that these are all ‘normal’ for humans and for many of our animal brethren.
Clearly there must be some control for the aspiring spiritual seeker, because, as with all the other fields we have covered, a middle way seems sensible. So some sexual activity is good, and it should be such as moves one on towards the spirit. It is for that reason that debauchery and promiscuity must be avoided. Sex with a loved partner should be the norm and obviously, while any activity acceptable to both, and harmless to both, is acceptable, this should be kept within sensible bounds of frequency and degree. If, at any time, sexual activity takes over and leaves no time for the spiritual life then the seeker is on the wrong path. It may be that in such circumstance the advice of a trusted spiritual guide should be sought if one wishes to continue on the spiritual path.
This leaves things fairly wide open. Sexual activity of any kind as such has no negative impact on spirituality, but it is because it is such a powerful drive that spiritual teachers have sought to control it. It is easy to stray from the ‘straight and narrow path’ in this particularly enticing field, and to fall away from the life of the spirit. Many do, but there is no need to fear – common sense, a little austerity in your life, occasional guidance when necessary ( it must be your choice - not another’s) prayer and, above all, love in this area of life as in all others will sustain you in your spiritual seeking.
